Updated: Oct 8
My story is long as most of yours are too. I'm not quite ready to jump into the sad, crazy, insanity I lived. So let's start with something tranquil, nice, pleasant, reassuring: the beautiful cardinal!
Before I had a name for what I was experiencing in my marriage, I felt God's presence in a simple winged animal. Periodically one of these gorgeous creatures would appear just outside of my window. I wondered if this was a normal occurrence. Afterall, I thought cardinals were from cold climates, not from the hot Texas climate I lived in. But then I saw these beauties more often, and not always near my home. My first thought was God was telling me He loved me. Silly? Maybe or maybe not! Either way, these little winged creatures brought me solace. I found myself, stopping, being present (some would now call this mindfulness) and just observing them. And that's when I felt a peace, as if God was whispering, "Kim, I love you!"
Those little birds carried me through some dark days. Eventually, I began to "test" my thoughts by analyzing when the cardinals appeared. Well, guess what? They always appeared during a moment of uncertainty or doubt. Yep, God was reassuring this ole girl during her time of need.