Why I write
I have never considered myself a writer. Since my childhood, I captured all of my adventures in a diary, and then after getting married and starting a family, I recorded sweet tid-bits about my children. It wasn't until recently that my daughter told me my writing was one of the reasons she wanted to become an English teacher. Wow, I had no idea! So here, I am, attempting to make sense of my misfortune and with God's sweet nudge, I will attempt to share my story, what I've learned as a result, and hopefully inspire other women to join me in this community of victors. We were victims, but now we shall call ourselves victors!
My story / It's not pretty but unfortunately it's similar to so many...
Hi, I'm Kim! I love Jesus and have always lived my life in hopes of honoring Him. About 13 years ago, God slowly made me aware of some misconceptions I had about Him and His people. I adjusted my thinking and proceeded to help my 2 daughters do the same. Fast forward 8 years. Many of my Christian views had changed and I found myself in a panic as I considered a familiar word, but not a word that I had ever applied to myself, until that moment: ABUSE
It was then that I began to realize I was living in an emotionally destructive marriage and needed help and healing. My husband and I separated and God quickly began to minister to me. God has been so gentle and kind to me in the midst of so much new revelation, angst, and confusion.
I attempted to share my story with friends but with the exception of 2, that was devastating. But God again, gave me what I needed. He 1st provided me with a center for victims to find community, education, & healing. Then He lead me to an abuse curriculum through my church called Stronger Than Espresso. Through that ministry, I was connected with like minded women who had lived stories similar to mine. I continue to meet with several of those sweet women and am finding new ways to be His spokesman.
You see, early in my recovery, I heard Him say He wanted me to become a spokesman for Him. I waited, knowing that I needed to be aware of His timing. I believe I am continuing to heal and learn more and more about this emotionally & verbally abusive condition. I am still seeing a counselor: a Christian man who, like me, has experienced similar circumstances. But I believe that our Father is now calling me to share my story and share His love for the afflicted.
Although I've been separated for 3 1/2 years and have been through a host of emotions in regard to what I should do, I now acknowledge that my husband takes responsibility for his actions, is in therapy, and together we are hoping to reconcile. I understand that this is not what happens in most of our cases. My story is not over! Now is the time to start sharing our stories and together find peace and healing.